The Happy, Healthy {Homeschooling} Homemaker

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Written by CHEBWA member Tina Smith

As home educating homemakers we are a unique group of individuals, and
even among us happiness can mean so many different things.  Just like our
homeschools, there are as many different definitions as there are of us. 
Happiness may mean something totally different to me than it does to you. 
Have you thought about what it is that makes you happy recently?  Is it
part of your consciousness on a regular basis, or are you just going through the motions?

 As mothers, wives, home educators, and homemakers we are accustomed to giving a lot of ourselves.  We know what it means to give until it hurts, and even then some.  I would venture to say that we on occasion give more than we actually have to give.  We wear ourselves out, and we forget that
everything we do stems on us being happy and healthy.  What are your
priorities?  Do you rank the care and keeping of yourself among them? 
I would like to share with you some things I do to take care of me so that I can take care of my family and strive to be the Daughter of the King that God would have me be.  Trust me.  I fall short each and every day.  The
newest lesson I have learned is to cut myself slack, a lot of slack.  Of
course, some days are better than others, but on the days that are less than
stellar I ask forgiveness, and I forgive myself, which is not necessarily an
easy thing to learn to do, and I move on.  Each day, each moment, is a new
opportunity to start again.

God’s timing is perfect, and he places things in our paths just at the
right time.  No one ever said that being a follower of Christ would make
our lives easy.  In fact we are taught the exact opposite.  So, I am
here to tell you tough times will come.  Burdens heavier than we ever knew
we could survive will be placed on our shoulders.  But, the load is
lightest when we share it.  Firstly, we must spend time with our Creator
each and every day.  Everything boils down to relationship, and as
Christian wives and mothers we MUST nurture our relationship with God.  The more time we spend in His Word the lighter our burden.  Does that mean the
trials and the difficulties and the heart break and the challenges will go
away?  I can attest that it absolutely does not.  What it does mean is
that Christ can work in our hearts and our minds, and in so doing he shares our load. 

Have you ever tried to move or carry a heavy piece of furniture on
your own?  I have, and it does not always turn out so well.  It can
even end in disaster.  What about moving a piece of furniture with someone
that is not so experienced?  I have been in that position as well, and the
load can seem even heavier than it actually is.  However, when a nice,
strong, experienced person lends a hand the load becomes so much lighter and easier to bear.  That is what God does for us.  He shares the load,
and suddenly it becomes bearable.  If we spend regular time in prayer and
study of The Word our load does become lighter.  We are carrying the very
same thing, but we get help from the strongest handy man there is, our
Father.
 
I have learned that it is very important to care for myself so that I can
care for my family (Kind of like the oxygen mask on the plane.  What good
are you to someone else if you cannot breathe?), and it is okay for me to do
things that nurture my soul.  It is okay for me to take time out for
myself.  My family will survive without my direct attention for a time, and
actually everyone will be better for it.  They will do much more than
survive.  In the long run they will thrive; we will all thrive together.  

Is your cup full, or is dust gathering in the bottom of your glass? 
Maybe it is time for you to think about what makes you happy.  What feeds
your soul?  What area of yourself has been neglected and could use a little
tender care?  If it has been so long that you cannot think of anything or
figure out where to start, and I have been there more than once, might I suggest journaling as a method of connecting with Christ as well as connecting with yourself.  When I journal I focus on gratitude, and I make it a point to write three pages.  It may seem daunting at first, but in order to journal one must write, right?  First, I list five things I am thankful for, and it
can be as simple as ‘daisies’ or ‘prayer’.  It does not have to be
elaborate. It can be, but it is not necessary.  Then, just start
writing.  You’re not trying to write a best seller.  You are just
putting pen to paper, and it is for your eyes only.  You can write a
prayer, write about your day, vent, or just ramble about whatever.  It
really does not matter.  What matters most is that you write.  It is
very therapeutic.

Another thing that is helpful in the care and keeping of ourselves is to
have a plan.  It does not have to be elaborate, but life does go much
better for our home if we have some sort of plan for our day.  When I was a
younger mom raising our oldest bunch I wasted a lot of time fretting about the care and keeping of my house.  Now, I focus on the care and keeping of my home.  What is the difference?  A house is just walls and rooms that
contain things.  A home contains people, a family; in our case a very
active, very messy homeschooling family.  I don’t know exactly how your
homeschool functions, but I know ours is active.  Creativity is
everywhere.  Each and every meal is prepared at home, and we don’t have a
dishwasher.  It gets messy, and again that is okay.  So today’s plan
included washing, drying, and putting away the dishes, but it was so sunny
outside, or the toddler needed more one on one attention than normal, or that ever pleasant monthly visitor showed up, and energy was on short supply, and (((GASP))) the dishes did not get done.  Again, it’s okay.  

Who is the much loved first cousin of planning?  Why flexibility of
course!  Flexibility is essential in the sanity of each and every
homeschooling homemaker.  Life happens.  If you ask me my favorite
thing about homeschooling I will tell you, “Its flexibility.”  The key to
flexibility is in allowing it to exist in your plan in the first place. 
Flexibility is freeing if you embrace it and cut yourself some slack.  I
have a sign hanging up by my desk that I think is a good reminder for us
all.  It says:

 The Proverbs 31 Woman…

…isn’t so much a
lesson on getting up early, sewing clothes, 
buying a field, or
achieving perfection.
         
The heart of the
matter is that she was dedicated to walking 
in virtue. 

She cared deeply for her husband and children.  
She put the needs of her family before her desire

She was a woman of noble character who walked by faith.

My guess is, she wasn’t perfect—none of us are.  
But she was ready and willing to be perfected by God.”

~ Darlene Schacht

By beginning each day with prayer and the study of The Word we are
opening our hearts to God and allowing him to perfect us.  Everything is
baby steps.  If you get up tomorrow and get caught up in the day and
realize half way through dinner that you never spent time in quiet study, do it before bed, or try again tomorrow.  The important thing is that we remember to go to Him, that we keep our feet firmly planted in The Word.

Much like love, happiness is a choice.  If we choose joy on a
regular basis, genetics or not, old habits or not, big mistakes or small,
eventually we will learn to reside in joy, and our hearts will be so full that
happiness will pour out into all areas of our lives.  No matter the
challenges we face, when we are grounded in The Word and focused on things above we can always reside in happiness.  That’s not to say we never get angry,  grieve, or have momentary lapses in judgment.  What it does mean is that we don’t wallow there.  We return to the throne, we dust ourselves off, and we start again.  We make the conscious choice over and over to actually BE happy.

The bible tells us in Romans 5 to “rejoice in our suffering”.  The old
saying, “In every cloud there is a silver lining”, comes to mind.  There is
always, without fail, good amidst the bad.  Christ DOES use all things to
his glory.  Our suffering as well as our joy will not be without
purpose.  Even suffering is a blessing as it does produce fruit. 
Romans 5 goes on to explain that, “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…”.  In Romans 8:26-28 we learn that, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

You can read more of Tina's thoughts on family, faith and homeschooling at her personal blog: The Zoo Crew 

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